October 8, 2006: WHEN THERE IS PEACE IN THE HOME . . .
Mark 10:2-16, Romans 14:13-23, Psalm 26

Eileen Parfrey       Springwater Presbyterian

       For my daughter's Golden Birthday-the birthday her age matched the date on which she was born-she and I met in Las Vegas for a mother-daughter reunion. I say "reunion," because our relationship had been distant for some years. But this was her Golden Birthday, and she used our celebration to talk about how her father's and my divorce had affected her. It was not comfortable to hear, but it was nothing I hadn't already considered. What my daughter said, Elizabeth Marquardt also says in her book, Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce-namely, for children, there is no "good divorce." As if echoing what Jesus taught in today's gospel lesson for Peacemaking Month.

       Knowing my past, knowing who you all are and where you're at, you've got to know I was horrified by the prospect of preaching this, especially since, if we must read it literally, your preacher is an adulteress. I hope we can leave literal readings to consider today's text an invitation to be persons held firmly by God in trusting faith. After all, even though the Pharisees ask Jesus a question about divorce, he answers them about marriage. His message is that divorce is not God's intention; that it is only human weakness that keeps us from fully receiving God's good gift of marriage.

       When Jesus' disciples hear his interpretation of the teaching, it's as if they haven't paid attention to God's intentions. Despite Jesus having just said that welcoming children is tantamount to welcoming him (the Messiah), they still think children are superfluous to God's plan. As Jesus unpacks the teaching on marriage, they shoo away the product. Jesus is talking the reign of God. In Mark, God's reign is not empire-big, powerful, oppressive. But neither is it sentimental naïveté, as we so often hear as we read the story. Jesus' point is powerlessness. Receiving the kingdom-not conquering, politicizing, strategizing, demanding fund raising. Pure, unadulterated grace. It's all gift. God's reign is about the Giver who receives us, even (especially?) when we have nothing to offer.

       Which is why we read these hard teachings about marriage and divorce along with the Romans lesson on helping each other stay in community. This goes with Jesus' warning earlier in Mark not to be a stumbling block to community. Paul's message is that controversial things like diet or drinking or divorce can only be considered "clean" or "unclean" based on whether they cause hurt or upbuilding to fellow believers. The community Paul envisions is founded in righteousness, joy, and peace, and peace means both "being at peace" within oneself and "making peace" as a way of Christian living.

Henri Nouwen reminds us that "peacemaking" is not an optional activity for professional Christians or left-wing wackos. Nouwen says no one can be a Christian without being a peacemaker. And not as a hobby. Jesus call is to a life of making peace. All that we do, say, think, or dream is in support of our concern to bring peace to this world.

       Last week's preacher challenged you with the story of Esther, a perfect lead in to our month-long peacemaking theme based on the Scottish proverb, "When there is peace in the home there will be peace in the community; when there is peace in the community there will be peace in the nation; when there is peace in the nation there will be peace on the earth." The Reverend Ann Richards reminded us that, like Esther, we are called to work for peace and justice, despite self-doubts about our ability to make a difference. In a nutshell, Esther's story challenges us to "Do what you can with what you've got where you're at." While it is easy to avoid peacemaking because "what difference can just one person make?" the Scottish proverb shows that what we do carries outward in ever-increasing circles of influence. Start by making peace with yourself, start at home, and the way you live will have an impact on the community, which will have an impact on the nation, which will have an impact on the world.

       Even Francis of Assisi, who wrote the prayer we sang during children's time, even Francis had to learn to love peace. He distinguishes between "being at peace" and "being peacemakers." Both are necessary, but I've discovered it's easier to be right than to be either at peace or a peacemaker. I like the buzz that comes of being a victim or of decrying hurt to some thing or relationship I treasure. Righteous indignation, self-importance, the essentialness of me. None of that is compatible with peacemaking.

       But are we to love peace at any cost? Barbara Brown Taylor, an Episcopal priest, says the implication of Paul's vision of church is the necessity of living with some heresy. Better than schism, she says. Schism (or church split) comes of judging others' "uncleanness." Peace in community means tolerating another's "heresy," allowing them to be "wrong." Maybe we'll learn something. We might even glimpse our own salvation more clearly for having made room for other sinners to be redeemed on God's terms. That's putting the nitty to the gritty in peacemaking-on an intimate level, at home, in the congregation.

       When I lack peace in myself, I love to feel injured by what's been done to me or what I perceive has been done to others. That makes it easy for me to disenfranchise those causing the hurt-either by literally ignoring them or by just questioning their credibility. When I let go of being right, of clinging to the moral superiority of my point of view, I'm a peacemaker. It requires me to respect the other. Our own Cindy Babikoff will talk to us October 24 about perceiving the cultural bias in own point of view.

       Being a peacemaker is counter-cultural. Peace is not tranquility or lack of conflict. Peace means giving ourselves-the treasure and very identity of our self. Not "getting our way" but "giving our self away." Peace is not "satisfaction with what I've got" but "satisfaction in giving." Peacemaking is directed to God, because of God; it is expressed in a very concrete world. Which means to other humans. For God's sake. None of us can hope to "save" the world. But we can start with ourselves, start by being nicer to the people closest to us. Start by doing what you can with what you've got where you're at.
Now it's time to pray for peace. We'll start by creating prayers for peace in the home.

       But first we have to get into different families. This is how we'll find our new families. If your idea of fun is hunting or fishing or being in the woods . . . you wore your new school crayons down to nubs before Christmas . . . you hurried home from school each day to call your friends on the phone . . . you like doing math puzzles in the newspaper . . . you read newspapers and magazines and books and cereal boxes . . . you like to take things apart. Now take 5 minutes to come up with a prayer for families that you can share with the congregation. But you can't use words. The prayer you create should be characteristic of your family interests.