My friend Shirley, with whom I am leading a pre-presbytery workshop about faith and depression, showed me a letter to the editor that touched on emotional ill-health. Since we're talking about emotional healing today, I thought I'd share with you that writer's view. She claims not to be concerned with "mental disorders or diseases" but,

"If the reason you're not whistling 'Dixie' is because you never made anything out of your sorry self and you have no drive or you are just plain lazy, a pill or shot is not going to change that.
"If you can't get your butt up off the couch that's filled with so much junk food that you can't find the remote in the pigpen that you're living in, you aren't going to be feeling good about yourself.
"If your marriage or relationship isn't quite right because there is no communication, don't be convinced that you need medical help. . . . People, grab hold of yourselves. Just get up and do something about your life. There's a solution to every problem, and it isn't some miracle pill. It's determination, drive and hard work that will get you the happiness you're looking for."

As someone with depression, I'm here to say that there really are emotional states in which nothing will get you off the couch, states which are not about junk food or will power or pulling up your socks and getting on with it. Subscribing whole-heartedly to the notion that more get-up-and-go is the solution to life's problems, the writer also assumes there are solutions to every problem. But some problems need more than hard work. Jairus' daughter really was dead. The bloody woman really was depleted by twelve years of bleeding. More get-up-and-go would not address the roots of either of those problems, let alone bring about healing for the real emotional pain that accompanied them.
There are, however, things with which I agree in that letter. I acknowledge no one promised us happiness, despite what the Declaration of Independence says about the pursuit of it. Nor does Jesus promise that following him is the key to happiness. But neither does he say that, because we're Christians, we oughta be miserable. We always have choices, and for some people it is possible to decide to get well. The bloody woman suffered for 12 years at the hands of physicians, and all she's gotten from it is poorer. The traveling preacher rouses enough hope of healing in her that she risks public exposure. For her, deciding to place her confidence in Jesus is enough. And Jesus commends her for it. Jairus is the decider for his daughter, and he keeps on deciding, even when people tell him the final decision is already made.

Franciscan priest Richard Rohr gives a whole process for choosing emotional healing. He calls it "Jesus' Five Messages," as if this is "how-to take responsibility for your own emotional life." Each "hard truth" statement ends with one of Jesus' messages. 1) It is true that life is hard but: 'My yoke is easy and my burden is light' (Matthew 11:28). 2) It is true that you are not that important, but: 'Do you not know that your name is written in heaven?' (Luke 10:20). 3) It is true that your life is not about you, but: 'I live not my own life, but the life of Christ who lives in me' (Galatians 2:20). 4) It is true that you are not in control, but: 'Can any of you for all your worrying, add a single moment to your span of life?' (Luke 12:26). 5) It is true that you are going to die, but: 'Neither death nor life… can come between us and the love of God' (Romans 8:38-39).

In contrast to that letter to the editor, Richard Rohr suggests the means as well as the theology of choosing to be healed. But for some people, choosing doesn't appear to be an option. Maybe they have chronic illness or a permanent disability or terminal conditions. For these persons, how they choose to live with that makes all the difference. To live well, even when things are not, is the basis of emotional healing. That's what Richard Rohr is saying: to live well in Christ. It takes trust.
Which is why we read the passage from Matthew today. "Come unto me" means acting on our trust. "Come unto me" also means taking the yoke and burden of Christ-sharing Christ's suffering. This does not mean suffering for the sake of suffering-which doesn't accomplish anything, least of all redemption. How we live with suffering brings healing. What has caused our suffering may not change-the physical challenges or medical condition remain, hurtful things can't be unsaid, what was lost can't be regained. But how we feel about the situation, how we interpret its consequences for those we love, the way we act and interact because of it, the meaning we assign the pain-these change, and with that change comes healing.

There are some saints who can get by on the judicious application of "All will be well," even when their world seems to be falling apart. These are folks whose daily practice and experience of God's peace is practical and in-the-flesh. I am both puzzled by and envious of people like that. It's not that their lives are smooth sailing-their child still has cerebral palsy, they still didn't get admitted to the college of their choice, their spouse still drinks, they are still poor-but how they live with those things bespeaks a peace rooted in trust and confidence in God.

How do they do that? Choosing God's peace. It's not the result of healing. God's peace is the safety net, the pathway, the how-to-that heals. The blurb on the back of a book on contemplative prayer calls contemplative prayer, "divine psychotherapy." Not that the author advocated prayer instead of therapy. But by employing what Father Keating calls "the Guard of the Heart" during contemplative prayer, we put ourselves in direct access to God's peace. That peace can be disturbed-by fear, anger, jealousy, temptation, aversion, discouragement, grief, depression, whatever-but that peace is protected by the Guard of the Heart, which replaces those disturbing emotions with peace. Using an Active Prayer Sentence engages the Guard of the Heart, redirecting us from the myriad of negative ways we distract ourselves and chase after happiness, guiding us back to the way of peace. If you are occupied with telling God, "I remember your love for me," there won't be a lot of room to hear the failure tapes.
Like a band aid, the Guard of the Heart doesn't cure anything. Growing up, our mother wouldn't give us a band aid unless she actually saw blood, so I thought band aids caused the bleeding to stop. I now know that a band aid holds the wound closed so the platelets can clot the blood. The band aid protects the wound from invasive infections while the skin re-knits. Spiritual disciplines like Guard of the Heart and contemplative prayer don't cure emotional ills, but they hold in God's peace so grace can do the healing, just as the platelets work to close a cut.

Guard of the Heart is something you can do at any time and in any place. Before we move into the Affirmation of Faith, I'd like to take a few minutes to teach it to you. When you practice this on your own, you will want to choose a Prayer Sentence that is meaningful to you, otherwise it wouldn't be a Guard for your the Heart. But this exercise will give you the idea. First, listen to your breath. On the inhale say, "I remember." On the exhale say, "your love for me." Do you see how much room that one sentence takes up in your mind? How much easier it is to old out the negative distractions? It gets easier with practice. Perhaps you will develop your own Guard of the Heart. Employ it when you find your experience of God's peace disturbed.

How to: TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN EMOTIONAL LIFE
March 4, 2007
Adapted from Richard Rohr

1. It is true that life is hard but: 'My yoke is easy and my burden is light' (Matthew 11:28). What about your faith in God gives you joy and contentment?

2. It is true that you are not that important, but: 'Do you not know that your name is written in heaven?' (Luke 10:20). Name some times when knew you were precious in God's eyes. How did you know that?

3. It is true that your life is not about you, but: 'I live not my own life, but the life of Christ who lives in me' (Galatians 2:20). Someone said that "The most courageous thing you will ever do is accept that you are just yourself." What keeps you from wholeheartedly accepting yourself?

4. It is true that you are not in control, but: 'Can any of you for all your worrying, add a single moment to your span of life?' (Luke 12:26). It is easy to set ourselves up to think we deserve, expect, or need something to happen, but this is only setting ourselves up for constant unhappiness. What expectations can you surrender to allow God to be in charge?

5. It is true that you are going to die, but: 'Neither death nor life… can come between us and the love of God' (Romans 8:38-39). Death is not final - and it takes the form of love. We cannot make God love us any more, and we cannot make God love us less. Engage the Guard of your Heart with the sentence, "I remember your love."