July 22, 2007: A MARY HEART IN A MARTHA WORLD
Luke 10:38-42, Colossians 1:15-23, Psalm 52
Eileen Parfrey - Springwater Presbyterian Church

One of my lectionary buddies asks the question at the heart of Mary and Martha's story: Did Jesus get it wrong? Was Jesus speaking as a 1st century male, one with no clue as to what it takes each day to run a household, let alone pull together a dinner party for 15 on short notice? When Jesus says, "Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her," is he saying, "Sit down, Martha. Study is more important than kitchen work"? As a card-carrying Martha, I've asked that question more than once. Is it not the faithful keeping-on of the worker bees that greases the skids of daily life which supports the structure that even allows this kind of question to be asked? If not for the Marthas of the world, would Marys even have a place to sit at Jesus' feet?

A book on that question is circulating among Springwater women, compliments of the pastor's library. I received a copy of Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World from Lake Grove Presbyterian when they invited me to teach one session of their class of the same name. It was a painful read. For years, I perceived the "official" interpretation of Jesus' statement, "Mary has chosen the better part" to be that Mary is faithful and Martha is not. After years of therapy, I have come to the conclusion that wholeness means accepting both the Mary and the Martha parts present in anyone, integrating and using them both in service for God. Men as well as women, congregations as well as individuals. Because he understands this so well, Franciscan priest, Richard Rohr, has founded the Center for Contemplative Action. Christians are both Mary (contemplative) and Martha (active), and he lives this-in quiet relationship with God and active relationship with the world, in quiet relationship with the world and active relationship with God. In other words, Mary needs to go to the kitchen while Martha needs to go to the living room.

Why do we insist on deciding a person is either a Mary or a Martha? It's counter-productive. My grama used to call my sister Katy the Pretty One and me the Good One, and we hated each other for that! I figured all the Pretty One had to do was show up, and Katy figured the Good One was better. Marthas think they are second-class Christians while Marys just have to look like saints. Marys think what Marthas do is more valuable and what they offer is invisible. How can we say that potlucks and after-church fellowship are essential to church life and then not value the people who wipe off the tables and bake the hot dishes? When we set goals and objectives, the prayerful process that discerns them is just as important as the goals themselves and their execution.

As I struggled with the seeming contradiction of a Martha temperament and a Mary heart, my spiritual director showed me this painting ("Saints Martha and Mary") by a Carmelite sister. One woman is in a doorway seated on the floor, the other is on a chair pouring tea into a cup. Both Mary and Martha sit in the light, but the light comes to each from different directions. Both suffused by light, but at different angles. Which invites an alternative interpretation to Jesus' troublesome pronouncement about Mary.

Maybe Jesus wasn't wrong. Maybe we have misunderstood. Given how highly hospitality is valued in Middle Eastern cultures, I have a hard time believing Jesus is annoyed with Martha for preparing a meal. What if Jesus' comment means Mary has chosen the biggest part? Rather than, "the better decision," Mary's choice might have been selfish and undisciplined. Perhaps Jesus praises Martha for her hospitality in not taking "the biggest piece" in order to leave it for the guest. He has, after all, just told the story of the Good Samaritan, in which the priest and Levite (in the name of protecting their ability to do their jobs) pass by the man they thought already beyond help. The Samaritan-the guy who doesn't fit the description of "good" is the one who acts, the one who comes off as the hero of the story. Maybe Martha is rightly scandalized with Jesus for encouraging Mary's un-disciple-like behavior.

Before we cast Mary into the dungeon Martha has occupied for two millennia, though, it is worth noting that, at least she made a choice. At least Mary made a choice. One of my friends told me about a Twelve Step meeting she attended. They were focusing on the Eleventh Step, the Mary Step as she calls it: "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." The group consensus was that to not decide in the name of prayer and meditation (to not act) is contrary to God's intention for the conscious contact. God waits on our decisions, they decided, filled with anticipation, ready delight in the challenge of creating with what we decide. Always redeeming, always creating. Grace abounds, but maybe grace abounds when we focus on our own choice rather than in allowing the distraction of the choices of others! Jesus doesn't seem annoyed with either woman's choice.

Grace abounds. What if we invited these women to appreciate each other's perspective and brought Mary into the kitchen and Martha into the living room. One of my friends is impatient with Marys-what she calls navel gazers. "What good is God's love," she asks, "if it's only yours?" Perhaps if Mary went into the kitchen she wouldn't get hung up on theories of church growth and member retention; maybe she'd just do it. She might get together with another couple to glean markets and restaurants for the Resource Center or form a conversation group with non-English speakers or help out at the summer lunch program. Rather than studying evangelism, maybe she'd just do it. She might gather families with small children to supervise play while the parents talked or she might make cookies for after-church fellowship or drop off flyers advertising worship services.

If Martha dried her hands and went into the living room, perhaps she'd find that God's first language is silence. Instead of being hell-bent on the transformation and rescue of others, maybe Martha would find that listening to them teaches her a thing or two. Rather than telegraphing her disappointment in the performance of others, maybe Martha could face the disappointment of her own motives for acting.

For both women, whether they are in the kitchen or in the living room, when they leave the place where they are comfortable, they will find God's passionate desire to be known. Whether she thinks she's a Mary or thinks she's a Martha, each person is sure to find herself wet, and not just from the dishwater. Each will find him- or herself drenched in God's love. Martha might hear that we are human beings not human doings. Mary might find God is present in the midst of folding newsletters and weeding the labyrinth and replacing hymnbooks after worship. In accepting the Martha in our Mary and the Mary in our Martha, we discover God present. As we surround the daily-ness of our lives with prayer, we find our True Vocation, we find who we really are: it is to be God's Beloved. That's who we are-God's Beloved. As Christians, our job first and foremost is to love and be loved. It doesn't matter whether you're the Good One or the Pretty One, Martha or Mary. It's not about changing yourself so that you'll be loved, transforming yourself so you're holy or forgivable. You already are. Because you are you are loved. Because of who you are, you are God's own beloved.